Is Bush the Devil...should the Devil be offended...Milton might say, "yes"

I do not know if you read the SF Gate's brilliantly witty columnist, Mark Morford, but if you do not I strongly encourage you to do so. He is a bit fringy at times, so if you are easily offended, beware...but he has a brilliant knack of cutting to the quick of things and putting issues in terms that I find very pleasing...ok, I like him because if I had the time (and ability) to write, I would write what Mark writes. Which brings us to a recent column.

He recently penned, "Is Bush Really The Devil? Satan has better taste in shoes. Is far sexier. Can actually spell 'Venezuela.' I mean, come on". Admittedly, he has a taste for long, overly descriptive titles (e.g. Sticky Hedgehogs, Stolen Puppies British heroines, toxic ice cream and the case of too many cute, dead mammals; and, Lick My Silent Sports Car How much has Big Auto lied? Take a drive in this four-wheel electric orgasm, and find out, etc.). But that is part of his charm.

In examining Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez's recent rant in front of the UN, Morford asks the hard question: "Was he [Bush] really sent to us by an angry and sighing God(dess) to test our ability to suffer toxic GOP fools with greater humor and more sex and good scotch?" He chooses, as a point of reference, "Milton's epic poem "Paradise Lost," perhaps the most heavily canonized and lovingly detailed examination of the underworld..." [see, it really is about books, after all]. He proceeds, at length, to compare our falling leader with the fallen angel. I will not recite the details...read and enjoy. I am going to have go and reread Paradise Lost (and Purgatory...as I have both, in editions with the great Dore illustrations) sometime soon.

This reminds me of another of my favorite "fictional Satan entering the real world" story. As you know, I am a recovering attorney. Finding bizarre legal cases is something a lot (of the more interesting) law student spend time doing when they should be Shepardizing cases. On of my favorites is: US vs. Satan and His Staff. It was a forma pauperis hearing (where an indigent plaintiff petitions to have the US government step in on their behalf in civil rights cases) and, by nearly any other judge, would have been "denied without opinion" (that is, without any written explanation of the reason). In this case, an elderly emeritus judge, apparently with time on his hands and a great sense of humor, laid out the foundation as to why the write was denied. In addition to all the tedious legal bits, there is a nice biblio reference:

While the official records disclose no case where this defendant has appeared as defendant there is an unofficial account of a trial in New Hampshire where this defendant filed an action of mortgage foreclosure as plaintiff. The defendant in that action was represented by the preeminent advocate of that day, and raised the defense that the plaintiff was a foreign prince with no standing to sue in an American Court. This defense was overcome by overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Whether this would raise an estoppel in the present case we are unable to determine at this time.

The first time I read this I was compelled to reread the Devil and Daniel Webster (a treat, do so if you have not since college).

On a slightly more serious note, I am a bit disappointed with Chavez's rant. I think he is genuinely doing what he thinks is best for Venezuela and has, in fact, done some very good things for the country...but he suffers serious foot in mouth disease. Maybe this is my issue, I have become so used to politicians only saying things in the blandest, least-inclined-to-piss-anybody-off-way, that hearing someone speak from the heart (admittedly, a pissed-off heart) is overly jarring. Then again, sometimes it pays to think about the audience (admittedly, this may well have played well in every other country on earth...). Here in Maine, our Governor had pissed off the feds by cutting a fuel oil deal with Venezuela for the state's "home heating assistance program". This deal was going to save the Maine a great deal of money on heating oil for those eligible for the subsidy (8 million gallons at a 40% discount). In the wake of the UN fiasco, he has stated he will not renew the program...in theory hurting Venezuela, but really hurting the poor in Maine and...well...the taxpayers who will now have to buy it at a higher rate. Personally, I'll keep my fingers crossed that when it comes time to renew, fiscal responsibility will win out over rhetorical backlash.

Oh, and the devil (and rock&roll) is, according to Rand, responsible for teen sex as well.